Sleep Regression, Separation Anxiety and Making Mommy Friends

Part 1:

My sweet baby girl has been the best sleeper. Nap time and night time have been pretty easy compared to the horror stories I’ve heard from other mothers. In our house…we lived the good life up until one weekend when it all changed! Grandma invited our sweet baby over to her house for one-on-one play time away from big sister and a sleepover. It was the weekend so we packed up the bag and left the timeframe open. Depending on how much fun both grandma and two year old were having we didn’t schedule an end time to this “fun” mini vacation.

On the last night, sweet baby girl turned somehow turned into a demon child, climbing out of her pack-n-play, crying and screaming and driving grandma and grandpa NUTS! Who knows if they’ll ever offer to watch the girls ever again. Magic 8 ball says: Outlook Not Good.

My husband and couldn't remember going through this with our first child so we did what most parents do... we GOOGLED! Our first NEVER climbed. This was so new to us. After trial and error and a couple of weeks, we found some things that worked for us, and once again, the whole family was getting some sleep.

Sleep Sack - At our house we call this the "Sleepy Sack". Because our little one figured out how to throw her leg over the side of the crib to pull herself out, this was an option to keep her legs from achieving splits status to get up, over and out.
Essential Oils - We purchased the Oilogic® .45 oz. Slumber and Sleep Essential Oil Roll-On. It's diluted and safe for babies 6 months and older. At nap time and bedtime, I spell out my little one's name on each foot (she repeats the letters) and then we do the same on her chest. We finish off by making circles on the back of her neck. This is very relaxing and soothing and has even made me tired at times.
Sound Machine with soft colored lighting - I splurged here and bought the Hatch Baby Rest Sound Machine with Night Light in White. This honestly has been AMAZING! It pairs via bluetooth with your phone. You can set different sleep programs. You can change the colors. My daughter has slowly learned that certain colors and sounds mean it's time to go to bed or to rest. We've also set "okay to wake" programs. It's pretty cool!
Crib mattress all the way to the floor - now this one is a HACK and really, we have only done it to buy us time. We're just not ready to transition to a toddler bed or big bed just yet. Some people out there will probably say not to go this route, but for us, it works. We basically moved the crib mattress down so that baby can't pull herself out. She's not strong enough at this point to use her arms to pull her self up and out.

Part 2 and 3:

In addition to the sleep regression we were experiencing, the separation anxiety was at an all time high. Again, sweet baby girl was possessed by evil forces and on days when it was time for preschool, AKA “play”school, she would melt down! In the car she would say “No go”. At school she would climb my legs. She would cry and scream as I walked towards the door to leave. I felt AWFUL! One day, right as I left the room, I burst into tears and sat down in the lobby with my head in my hands. Thank the Lord for the motherhood, because just as I was losing my cool, another mother came to pick me up when I was feeling at an all time low.

I had just read an article about “How to Make Mommy Friends” and one of the discussion points was to be vulnerable in front of other moms. I have often been told (by my husband and a few other close friends and family members) that I put on this image of perfection. My life is “so perfect” or so it seems. I post only the good pictures. I rarely go out without make up. I put forth that image that I’ve got it all together. REALITY CHECK….I DON’T! I have moments of weakness far too often. I confess to cooking chicken nuggets and macaroni and cheese for dinner…on the regular. I have piles and piles of clean and dirty clothes in my room that drive my husband nuts. I have melt downs often. I forget where I put my phone ALL THE TIME. I split my nails! I have a long list of habits, some awful, some normal. I just try to hide them.

By being vulnerable in the moment of my sweet baby’s meltdown, I connected more with a mommy friend that I really had been wanting to get to know better, I just didn’t know how. At the end of our chat, she told me about a craft and wine party she was going to be throwing the next week. Uh, hello? I LOVE WINE!!! Oh, and crafts too! Inside I was jumping up and down, but outside, trying to keep my cool.

Fast forward a couple of hours. It was time to pick up the sad little girl I had left at school. I had been struggling all morning with the questions: Should I have hugged her and gone right away? Should I have stayed and offered her more love and cuddles? I was begging for someone to just tell me what to do! Give me the answers! As parents we seriously have NO CLUE half the time. As the door opened, the teacher snuck out. She saw me and before letting all the parents in to pick up, she asked me if I was okay. She recognized! She saw that I was struggling! And then, this amazing woman, who is a mother herself and has been teaching 2-3 year olds for 17+ years, gave me the answers I was looking for. She offered me encouragement and reassurance that I was doing a great job as a mom and she told me to just “stay positive”. She said to tell my little girl, “I love you, you're going to have so much fun and mommy will be back in a couple of hours”. It can’t be that simple, can it be? Well, a friend of mine found a quote that I think is perfect in this situation: “Attitude is the difference between an ordeal and an adventure”. I like that. Cheers to more adventures!